Unstable Household
by Ash221
Summary: My first fanfic. Several shinigami and one shinigami representative are made to live in a house together in the real world for five months. The reason? Outside of work bonding. Crazyness follows, and secrets that should have remained so are revealed.
1. Recipe For Disaster

Unstable Household

"Attention, would Captain Hitsugaya Toshiro, Assistant Captain Matsumoto Rangiku, Captain Zaraki Kenpachi, Assistant Captain Kusajishi Yachiru, Assistant Captain Abarai Renji, Assistant Captain Hinamori Momo, and Kuchiki Rukia please come to first company." The hell butterfly, after finishing the message, disappeared into the sky.

"I wonder why we're being called down?" Hitsugaya said as he began looking for his captain's jacket. Matsumoto had taken it and ran away.

"Hey captain why did the pretty bird just talk to me?" Matsumoto asked her white haired captain. She had a jar of sake in her right hand, and used the other one to hold onto the wall to keep her balanced.

"What bird…" Hitsugaya stopped short once he noticed his captains jacket shoved in-between her breast. "Is that my captains jacket?"

Matsumoto looked down at it and she looked back at her captain. "No, it's an illusion," she said as she waved her hands around. Once she finished she took off toward first company with Hitsugaya chasing after her.

-------------

"I wonder if we did something bad?" Momo said. She stopped for a second to think then said, "No Shiro-chan wouldn't do anything bad or Matsumoto or Rukia or me, but I don't know about anyone else."

"Hi Momo-chan, bye Momo-chan." Matsumoto said as she ran past her.

"Give it back," Hitsugaya said as he ran past Momo without his captain jacket.

Momo sat there for a minute dumbfounded until she realized what happened. "Hey Shiro-chan, Rangiku-san wait up," she called after them waving her hand in the air.

"It's Captain Hitsugaya!" Toshiro yelled.

"How did he hear me?" Hinamori said to herself.

-------------

"Thanks to you Renji we're going to be the last ones there!" Rukia yelled.

"Don't blame me. If your going to blame someone blame your brother for making me spring clean!" Renji yelled right back.

"But it's not spring, it's fall," Rukia said confused.

"Damn it! I put on an apron for nothing!" Renji shouted.

Rukia started to crack up from imagining Renji in an apron.

"What's so funny," Renji said glaring at her.

"Imagining you in an apron," she said between giggles.

"The rest of the way lets not talk so I am not tempted to punch you in the face, O.K." Renji said through gritted teeth.

"Grr, someone needs to take their medicine." Rukia said

"I ALREADY DID!" Renji yelled.

'Someone has PMS' Rukia thought to herself.

The rest of the way no one spoke.

-------------

"Ken-chan turn left," a little giggly pink haired girl said.

"Are you sure Yachiru, because I think we should go straight? Plus you already lead me to five dead ends," Kenpachi said.

"Yes I'm sure. This time I smell Snowball's sent, now go," Yachiru said. Kenpachi stopped dead in his tracks and looked over his shoulder at the girl. "Wait, what?!" he asked only to be hit on the head, "Mush doggy!"

Kenpachi took off with Yachiru hanging on his shoulder.

-------------

"Ichigo there is a guy on the phone for you," Yuzu said as she walked into his room.

"What's his name?" Ichigo ask.

"His name is Yamamoto." Yuzu said as she handed him the phone.

"Thanks Yuzu," Ichigo said grabbing the phone, "Hello."

"Hi Ichigo." Yamamoto said.

"What do you want me to do now?"

"Well I want you to go to that abandoned house by the park, and for five months you and other people will live there."

"Hell no I wont go."

"Rukia will be there."

'O.K I'll go to protect Rukia."

"Good. Start heading down now. Bye." Yamamoto hung up the phone.

"Great now I have to tell my dad." Ichigo said staring out the window above his bed.

"Tell me what?" Isshin said as his head suddenly appeared in Ichigo's window.

Ichigo jumped at it and then said, "Were you listening to my whole conversation you freak."

"No I'm just hear to do this," Isshin said as he open the window, and threw his body through it with his foot going straight for Ichigo's face. Ichigo grabbed his dad's foot and threw him across the room.

Isshin lifted his head as high as he could and said, "Good one son," as blood trickled down his face.

"Later dad I'll be gone for five months," Ichigo said as he walked past his dad and out the door.

-------------

"Hey Ken-chan look its gramps," Yachiru said pointing and smacking Kenpachi, so he would look, at the same time.

"For once we are actually the first ones here," Kenpachi said looking at his surroundings.

Yachiru jumped off of Kenpachi and began to run around like a headless chicken screaming, "IT'S THE OF THE WORLD!!" repeatedly. The she began to strip and say, "EVERY MAN FOR THEMSELVES!!"

Yamamoto gave Kenpachi a 'get control of your assistant captain' look.

"Yachiru it's not the end of the world so put your clothing back on," Kenpachi said as he grabbed his assistant captain. She squirmed away from him and took off in her underwear. Just then Matsumoto, Hitsugaya, and Momo showed up, and Yachiru climbed to the top of Hitsugaya's head. Hitsugaya tried to pull her off but her grip became tighter. Hinamori tried to hide her laughs but small giggles escaped. Matsumoto just pointed and laughed. Hitsugaya completely forgot about his captain's jacket being shoved into Matsumoto's chest, because he was too busy trying to get Yachiru off his head. She kept biting him.

"CAPTAIN ZARAKI GET YOUR ASSISTANT CAPTAIN UNDER CONTROL THIS INSTANT!!" boomed Yamamoto.

"Alright," Kenpachi said, "Hey Yachiru want some candy." In an instant Yachiru darted over and grabbed a chocolate bar from Kenpachi.

"Thanks Ken-chan," Yachiru said in between bites.

"I'll give you some more if you put on you clothes," Kenpachi bargained, and Yachiru threw on her clothes and took the other chocolate bar.

"I told you we would be the last ones!" Rukia yelled at Renji as they came from behind a bush.

"Again don't blame me blame your brother," Renji shot back.

"I am done talking to you," Rukia said as she ran up to the rest of the group.

"Hey Captain Hitsugaya where is your captains jacket," Renji asked as he got closer to the group.

"Um, oh yeah." He looked over at Matsumoto, "Give it back now if you wish to see tomorrow," Hitsugaya said through gritted teeth.

"But how can I give you an illusion," Matsumoto said while waving her hands around like before.

"If it is an illusion, then how is it shoved in between your chest?" Hitsugaya said pointing to her chest where his jacket was.

Matsumoto paused for a minute then said, "Very carefully," and began to run around the building with her short, but fast, captain right behind her. Then Yachiru joined in the chase for no reason. She began to get tired so she jumped on Hitsugaya's shoulders so he could carry her, but she wound up tackling him.

"What…was that…for?" Hitsugaya said gasping for air, because she was sitting on his lungs.

"Snowball you were supposed to carry me on your back, because I was getting tired," Yachiru said while smacking his head as a punishment.

"How about giving me a warning next time." Hitsugaya said. Then he thought of a plan to get his jacket back and said, "Hey Yachiru you said you were tired, right?"

"Duh snowball. What are you bad at hearing?" Yachiru said.

"I have a plan that will help us both. O.K I need you to sit on my shoulders and I will run after Matsumoto. When I'm close enough I need you to jump off my shoulders and onto hers. Then you can grab my jacket and give it back to me." Hitsugaya said making motions with his hands.

"What do I get in return?" Yachiru said bouncing up and down.

"I'll give you a piggy-back-ride." Toshiro said, regretting he said that.

-------------

"Where did they go, because they just disappeared," Renji said with a confused look on his face.

"OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" Matsumoto screamed as she ran around the corner. A second later Hitsugaya came flying around the corner with his bankai released and Yachiru sitting on his shoulder screaming like a mad man…err…woman.

"NOW!' Hitsugaya screamed to Yachiru. Yachiru jumped off his shoulder and onto Matsumoto's. Just then Hitsugaya shot ice at Matsumoto's legs and froze them. "Hahahahaha gottcha' bitch!" Toshiro yelled.

"Snowball I got your jacket from Big Booby," Yachiru said waving it in the air. She jumped down from Matsumoto's shoulder. Then she ran over to Hitsugaya and handed him his captain's jacket. Once he put it on she jumped onto his back and said, "Giddy up horsy." Toshiro walked over to Kenpachi and said, "But Yachiru it wouldn't be fair if you only wanted me to do it, because Ken-chan wants to give you a piggy-back-ride too, and it would break his heart if you don't let him give you one."

"Oh really? I don't want to break Ken-Chan's fragile heart. Snowball set me down so I can go onto Ken-Chan's back,' Yachiru said bouncing up and down.

"Here you go," Hitsugaya said as he knelt down and let go of Yachiru's legs so she could get down. He stood back up and looked at Kenpachi. He had an 'I hate you' look on his face and Hitsugaya had a smile on his face that said 'I know' and he walked over to the rest of the group. After Yachiru got into her usual spot on Kenpachi's back/shoulder Kenpachi walked over to the group.

"O.K. has everybody calmed down?" Yamamoto asked the group of shinagami.

"Yes," everybody said at the same time. Then they all looked at each other with creeped out expressions on their faces and Hinamori said, "That was creepy."

"Anyway, I want all of you guys to go to the real world. There is an abandoned house by the park and you guys plus Ichigo will be living there for five months. No questions please," Yamamoto said.

"But why?" Matsumoto asked pouting.

"What part of 'no questions' do you not get?" Hitsugaya asked his assistant captain.

"The 'no' part," Matsumoto said with a smirk.

"Why you…" Hitsugaya stopped himself to keep from hitting Matsumoto.

"You guys are going because you need to learn to get along, end of discussion," Yamamoto said as he created a gate between the Human World and the Soul Society. Once he was done he pointed at it and everyone knew to go through so they did one at a time.

-------------

When they came out of the doorway they were instantly put into gigais. The first person to come through was Hitsugaya. He was wearing a black short-sleeved T-shirt with the collar popped. It had an icy blue dragon on the back of his, and he had tight dark blue jeans. The next person was Matsumoto. She had a pink tank top on with black print of guitars making an X. She had a white hoody that was tight around her body over top of the tank top. Its sleeves stopped right before her elbows; its torso stopped a few inches below her chest but above her belly button, and it had in black print guitars. Her pink tank top overlapped her light blue short shorts a little, and her hair was tied up in pigtails. The next person to come through was Hinamori. She was wearing a really light yellow sundress that was covered in peaches, her hair in low pigtails, and she had a straw hat with a yellow ribbon. Rukia came through after Hinamori. She too was wearing a sundress but hers was just plain pink, and she also had a straw hat only hers had a pink ribbon. Kenpachi came through with a black leather jacket on and no shirt on underneath. He had dark, baggy jeans with wholes at the knees, and at the bottom they were raggedy and torn. Next came Yachiru, she had on a dress with short sleeves that pooffed a little, the torso/bottom of the dress ended six inches above her knees, and the bottom half puffed out a little. It had ruffles at the end of the sleeves and on the bottom of the dress; they were red while the rest of the dress was black. She had a red choker that was outlined in black on her neck. Her hands had gloves on them that started at her knuckles and ended an inch past her elbows; they were striped with the colors black and red. She had black boots that want two inches higher then her ankles, with buckles going up the sides. Yachiru had knee-highs that matched her gloves; they had stripes that were the colors red and black. In her hair was a red ribbon that separated her bangs from the rest of her hair, and it was tied at the top of her head so you could see the bow. Renji came through last with just a plain black T-shirt, dark jeans, and a black bandana tied around his forehead.

-------------

As they arrived at the park Yachiru said, "I'm tired let's rest here for a minute." Everyone looked at her like 'are you joking.'

"But Yachiru the only walking you did was through the doorway," Hinamori said in a whisper like tone so Yachiru wouldn't get mad at her.

"Yeah and that wiped me out," Yachiru said as she put her hand on her head, forgetting that she was still on Kenpachi's back, and fell backwards. She fell onto her head, and curled up into a little ball holding her head and was screaming, "Oooowwwyy! Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow! Oooowwwyy!"

Everybody just ignored her even Kenpachi.

"Hinamori you should know that when Yachiru says that she is 'tired,' and she hasn't walked at all, and we're right in front of a park it means she wants to play…" Hitsugaya just kept going on and on so, she eventually tuned him out.

"OMG! Dose anyone even care about the fact that there is a crying child." Matsumoto asked.

"Nope," they all said at the same time again. Then Hinamori said, "O.K. we really need to stop doing that it's really, really creepy." They all nodded their heads.

"Well what do you do when ever she cries, Kenpachi?" Matsumoto asked as she began to pick up Yachiru.

"I usually just let her cry it out," Kenpachi said as he sat down on the bench behind him, and crossed his arms.

"That makes me wonder why she likes you so much," Matsumoto said as she rocked Yachiru side to side.

"It's a simple answer really. The reason she likes me so much is because I saved her life. Duh," Kenpachi said.

"But you so…err…um, oh I got it, mean," as Matsumoto said that Yachiru lifted her head and said, "Ken-chan is not mean. He just thinks that I shouldn't be such a baby, so whenever I hurt my he wants me to be able to shake it off like him." As Yachiru spoke she pointed her finger in Matsumoto's face as if she was teaching her something.

"O.K. you guys relax," Yachiru said as she pointed to everyone, "and I will go play on the swing set over there," She pointed at the swing set. With that she took off.

------------- (Yachiru's point of view)

I ran over to the swings. As I ran to them I felt the wind blow my hair and my dress. When I reached the swings I hoped on and began to swing back and forth. Each time I swung forward the air cause my dress to lift up but I didn't care. The breeze felt good on my face and in my hair. I began to laugh out of mostly happiness but also because the wind tickled her checks. I stopped laughing once I noticed a boy walking up to her. He had short black hair that looked goofy. He was wearing a black T-shirt that said 'rebel' in red print. His dark cargo shorts want past his knees, and over all he looked like jerk. Once he got to the swing that I was at he leaned up against the pole and crossed his arms to make him look cool. I jumped off the swing and landed perfectly on my feet, and I struck a pose to show off. Once I was done my pose I walked to the kid and said, "Hey Rebel what do you want? I have to get back to Ken-chan," I pointed behind me at the bench Ken-chan was sitting on.

"Oh, my name's Sai," the boy said sticking out his hand with a smile on his face. I just sat there staring him down until he put down his hand. "Right," he continued as he began to rub his head, "is that your family?"

"Uh, sure, yeah lets go with that," Yachiru said with a giant grin going across her face.

"Oh, in that case that women with the big boobs looks like an alcoholic mother, the guy with the spiky black hair looks like an abusive father, and that guy with the spiky red hair in a ponytail looks dumber then a monkey. The other two girls look much cuter then you, the younger boy looks brighter then you, and you seem like you're the annoying bitch out of all of your family," the boy said with a grin.

At that Yachiru broke a piece off of the swing set pole and began to beat his face in until he wasn't conscious anymore.

-------------(Back to normal view)

Yachiru ran up to the group, with a giant grin on her face, like nothing happen.

"Um, Yachiru why did you just about kill that boy," Hinamori said hiding behind Hitsugaya in fear of Yachiru.

Yachiru sat there for a minute and then said, "He insulted us all."

"All of us or just you?" Kenpachi asked Yachiru.

"Well he only insulted, Big Boobies, Ken-chan, and Monkey-chan. But he complemented Bun Girl, Snowball, and Death Row," Yachiru said with her finger to her chin as if she was thinking. "Oh, and he called me an annoying bitch," Yachiru continued, "and that is what caused me to hit him."

"But you beat his face in," Hitsugaya said.

"Really? But I barely even tapped him," Yachiru said as she looked over at the twitching figure.

"And this is why she is my assistant captain," Kenpachi said as he turned around, so Yachiru could jump onto his back. They were about to leave when they noticed a women figure walking toured them.

"Excuse me but is that your daughter?" the women asked Kenpachi.

Before Kenpachi could answer Yachiru said, "Yes he's my father, what else would he be, my dog? I don't think so." By now she had already jumped off Kenpachi's shoulder, on the women's head, and pulling at the women's dark purple hair.

"Yachiru I will give you some candy if you get off the women's head," Kenpachi said. At that Yachiru darted over to him, grabbed the chocolate bar, hide underneath the bench Hitsugaya was sitting on and began to whispered, "My precious."

"Right, anyway your daughter gave my child a concussion," the women said angrily.

"Well it serves that little brat right," Kenpachi shot back at the women.

"You're a horrible parent!" the lady began to yell.

"At least I'm a better one then you!" Kenpachi yelled back at her.

"Know what I'll just call child services and have you daughter taken away from you," the women half yelled half talked in a normal voice.

"Try it!" Kenpachi yelled in her face.

"Fine! I will!" she yelled back in his face. She grabbed out her cell phone and flipped it open. Right then Matsumoto took her elbow and knock out the women with it.

"Now we don't want that now will we?" Matsumoto said as she began to walk away, and motioned everyone else to follow her.

Then Hinamori asked, "Rangiku-san will she be alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I think," Matsumoto, said as she put her finger to her lips. Then she turned her head to look behind her at the twitching figure, "Maybe not. Oh well.' Matsumoto shrugged her shoulders and kept walking.

-------------

They final got to the house to find out that it was a rundown, two-story house. When they walked in they saw the kitchen, dinning room, and the living room right away. Then to the right of the living room was a hallway. Down the hallway there were two bathrooms and a staircase. Upstairs is two bedrooms with two beds in each.

When they got to the bedrooms Matsumoto said, "O.K the girls get the bigger bedroom and the bigger bathroom."

"There is no way I'm sleeping on the floor," Hitsugaya stated as he crossed his arms.

"Of course you are, because littler people sleep on the ground," Kenpachi said right in Hitsugaya's face.

"Who are you calling little?" Hitsugaya said as the room temperature decreased by ten degrees.

"You dumb ass," Kenpachi said.

"Lets go into the other room before this gets icy," Matsumoto said as she began to fast walk to her room.

"Um, Matsumoto don't you mean messy," Hinamori said as her and the other girls followed Matsumoto to the room next door.

"No I mean icy. Really, really icy, but that's only when you piss off my captain like that. Trust me I know from experience," Matsumoto replied once they were all in the room.

As soon as everyone settled down, Hitsugaya came flying through the wall. Everybody screamed. Hitsugaya stood up and charged back into the frozen room. Before he could punch Kenpachi they heard the front door squeak open. Then they heard footsteps going up the stairs. Hitsugaya and Kenpachi forgot about their fight, and got ready to fight the stranger. Before they could attack Yachiru jumped out of nowhere and began to bight the figures head.

"Get off of me you pink haired freak," said the figure.

"I know that voice it's Ichigo's," Rukia said.

"Ichigo," Kenpachi said with a giant grin on his face.

"Oh shit," Ichigo said as he began to run down the stairs.


	2. On Stabbings, Attics, and Raccoons

"Hey get back here!" Kenpachi yelled after Ichigo.

"Yeah go Ken-chan," Yachiru said as she began to jump up and down like a cheerleader.

"Like hell I'm going to come back!" Ichigo yelled as he ran into the kitchen. He took a look around and saw a lot of knifes. "O.K. maybe this wasn't the best place to hid," he said as he grabbed a knife.

Kenpachi ran into the kitchen and found a butchers knife. He picked up the knife and said, "Where are you Ichigo? You know that you can't hid forever."

"Hey Ken-chan he's over there," Yachiru said as she began to point behind the counter.

"SHIT!" Ichigo yelled as he dove out of the way of Kenpachi's attack.

"Take it like a man Ichigo," Kenpachi said as he chased down Ichigo. Kenpachi caught up to Ichigo and swung his knife at him. Ichigo turned around fast enough to block Kenpachi's attack with his knife, but Kenpachi's knife cut right through Ichigo's and cut Ichigo's shoulder.

"WHAT THE HELL KENPACHI!! WHAT THE HELL!" Ichigo screamed as he grabbed his shoulder in pain.

"Go Ken-chan! Get your revenge!" Yachiru yelled with her hand in the air making a fist.

Kenpachi raised his hand in the air; the one with the knife; and got ready to stab Ichigo. His hand swung down, but before he could stab Ichigo, Hitsugaya dove at what he could reach (Kenpachi's knees) and took him down.

"Thank you so much Toshiro," Ichigo said as he got up and dusted himself off.

"It's Captain Hitsugaya to you," Hitsugaya said sitting on Kenpachi's stomach.

"Hey shorty. Get off my stomach," Kenpachi said to the now pissed off white haired captain.

That caused Hitsugaya to have his foot make contact to Kenpachi's balls. "Who were you calling short? Asshole," Hitsugaya said.

"Bad Snowball!" Yachiru said as she pulled a squirt bottle out of nowhere and sprayed Hitsugaya's face with it.

"Ow my freaking eyes! What the hell did you put in that thing?" Hitsugaya said with his hands over his eyes.

"Lemonade of cores," Yachiru said like it was obvious.

"You're supposed to put water in there not freaking lemonade," Hitsugaya said as he rubbed the last of lemonade out of his eyes. As soon as Hitsugaya opened his eyes he saw a butchers knife coming straight for him. He moved out of the way in time but still got a cut on his cheek. "What the hell was that for? You could have killed me just now," Hitsugaya said as he turned to look at Kenpachi. Then he realized that Kenpachi had a lot of knifes in his hands. Kenpachi threw all of the knifes in his hands at Hitsugaya.

"Shit!" Hitsugaya yelled as he dove out of the way, but it wasn't fast enough so five nailed him. Three out of the five hit him in the legs. One of the other two hit him on side/back. The last one was heading straight for his throat but Hitsugaya blocked it with his hand. Hitsugaya fell and landed on some pots, pans, and metal bowls. He picked up a bowl and put it on top of his head to protect it. Then he pulled the knife in his palm out and held it in the other hand. He used his free, but bloody, hand to pick up a pan to protect his torso. Then Hitsugaya said, "Bring it on bitch."

Kenpachi picked up some more knifes and was about to throw them but was held back by Renji, Ichigo, and Rukia.

"O.K that's enough everyone," Matsumoto said as she walked into the room with Hinamori.

"Alright fine, now let go of me," Kenpachi said and everyone let go of him.

As soon as everyone was away from Kenpachi, Hitsugaya through his knife at Kenpachi. The next second Hitsugaya ran into the living room and hid behind the dusty, old couch.

Before Kenpachi could follow Matsumoto grabbed his shoulder and said, "Captain Zaraki it's not worth it."

"Yes Ken-chan, Yachiru thinks it is worth it. Right Yachiru?" Yachiru said as she began to talk to herself.

"Yes Yachiru thinks it is worth it," Yachiru answered herself.

"O.K, um was she dropped on her head a lot?" Matsumoto asked Kenpachi. Kenpachi turned to look at Matsumoto and then began to shake his head up and down.

"I'm bored," Hinamori said as she walked over to the couch; where Hitsugaya was hiding; and sat down.

"Yeah me to," Rukia said as she joined Hinamori on the couch.

"I have an idea," Matsumoto said.

"What?" Renji said as he walked into the living room and sat on the ground.

"Alright how about we all sit in the living room and think of ideas to get rid of the boredom," Matsumoto said as she walked into the living room and sat in the open spot on the couch.

"Fine," Kenpachi said as he joined Renji on the floor. Ichigo sat on the other side of Renji. Yachiru curled up like a cat on Matsumoto's lap. Then Hitsugaya crawled out of his hiding place and sat on the arm of the couch (on the side where Hinamori sat).

"Alright any ideas guys?" Renji asked the group.

"I have a few," Kenpachi said.

"Alright tell use," Rukia said eager to hear his ideas.

"My first idea is to open a restraint. It will be called 'Kenpachi's Fried Children,' and Hitsugaya I would like to have you over to eat, I mean inspect," Kenpachi said looking straight at Hitsugaya.

"Fuck you," Hitsugaya said as he picked up a pillow and through it at Kenpachi.

"Fine how about we play tag with our swords, and I call being it," Kenpachi said.

"Uh, how about no you freak," Ichigo said.

"Fine how about we play man hunt with our swords," Kenpachi said.

"NO!" everyone said at the same time again.

"What the heck? I thought we agreed to stop doing that," Hinamori said. Everyone just surged their shoulders.

"I have another idea," Kenpachi said.

"Dose it involve swords?" Matsumoto asked.

"Yes," Kenpachi answered.

"Then we don't want to hear it," Matsumoto said.

"I have an idea," Yachiru said waving her hand in the air.

"What?" Renji asked, "Eat candy?"

"That's a good idea but no," Yachiru answered.

"Then what is it?" asked Hitsugaya.

"I'm going to show you," Yachiru said as she ran over to Hitsugaya and grabbed the bowl on top of his head. Then she ran up stairs. The next moment she was riding inside the bowl down the steps. She ended up nailing a wall at the end of the hall. Then the bowl rolled away from her and down the hall into the living room. "I'm O.K," Yachiru said as she wobbled into the living room.

"For our safety lets not do that," Hinamori said.

"It will be fine. We just need Snowball to freeze the stairs," Yachiru said as she pointed to Hitsugaya.

"It's Captain Hitsugaya to you, and wont that make it more dangerous?" Hitsugaya said.

"That's what will make it more fun Snowball," Yachiru said as she walked over to Hitsugaya and flicked him on the forehead.

"It's Captain Hitsugaya to you," Hitsugaya said angrily at Yachiru.

"Snowball," Yachiru shot back.

"Captain Hitsugaya!"

"Snowball!"

"CAPTAIN HITSUGAYA!!"

"SNOOOWBAAALL!!"

"**CAPTAIN HITSUGAYA!!"**

"**SNOOOOOOWBAAAAAALL!!"**

"**CAPTAIN HITSUGAYA!!"**

"**SNOOOOOOOOWBAAAAAAAALL!!"**

"I give up you win," Hitsugaya said as he waved his hands in surrender. To show her victory she began to pat her butt in Hitsugaya's face, and stuck her tongue out. Hitsugaya's eyes widen at the fact that Yachiru's ass was in his face.

"Hey captain dose this mean you've moved on from Hinamori?" Matsumoto asked teasingly.

"Matsumoto just shut up for once," Hitsugaya said as he pushed Yachiru's ass out of his face.

"Ken-chan, Snowball is touching me in a bad spot," Yachiru said as she began to flail around.

Everyone looked at Hitsugaya whose face was completely red.

"I will do one thing that you want me to if you don't kill me," Hitsugaya said to Kenpachi.

"Alright. Then I want you to do what Yachiru just did, but make the stairs ice, and go down butt naked without anything underneath you," Kenpachi said with a giant grin on.

"You enjoy torture way to much," Hitsugaya said with a frown on his face.

"Oh this is going to be priceless," Matsumoto, said as she clasped her hands together and began to rub them together.

"Dose everyone have to watch?" Hitsugaya said as he began to grow smaller.

"Yes," Kenpachi said way to happy.

"Fine," Hitsugaya said as he walked up the stairs stripping. The next moment the stairs froze, and a naked white haired captain came flying down them. "Oh shit!" Hitsugaya yelled as he neared the wall in front of him. Then he nailed the wall, and curled up into a little ball.

"Is he O.K?" Hinamori said with her hands over her eyes, so she wouldn't have to see her friend naked.

"I'll go see," Yachiru said as she ran down the hall.

"Wait Yachiru a little girl shouldn't see what you're about to see," Renji said as he got up to stop her, but Kenpachi grabbed his shoulder and sat him back down.

"It's O.K," Kenpachi said to Renji.

"No it's not O.K, she will be scared for life," Renji said as he tried to get free of his grasped.

"Trust me she has seen one before, because walked she in on me," Kenpachi said with his head hanging in shame.

Then out of nowhere they heard Hitsugaya yell, "Ah, Yachiru don't touch me there!"

"Well if you stopped wiggling around like a worm it wouldn't happen again," Yachiru said.

"Just let me get my freaking clothes," Hitsugaya said as he pushed Yachiru off of his clothe-less body. Then he got up and ran up the stairs as he grabbed his clothes. The next moment he was walking back down the stairs fully dressed. When he was half way down Yachiru ran up past he, and then; from the top of the stairs; she dove at Hitsugaya. As soon as Hitsugaya saw Yachiru flying right for him, he began to say, "Son of a bit-." He didn't get to finish his sentence, because Yachiru had hit him. They began to tumble down the stairs. When they reached the bottom Hitsugaya spat out the last two letters, "-ch." After they hit the wall, they heard stuff coming down the stairs at them. Then there was a loud crash.

"Captain are you alright?" Matsumoto asked.

Silence.

"Captain," Matsumoto said worried this time.

Some more silence.

"Shiro-chan," this time Hinamori asked, but she was really quit when she asked.

Even more silence.

"I hope Toshiro is all right," Ichigo said.

"Who cares about that brat, what about Yachiru?" Kenpachi said.

"It is her fault though," Renji said.

"Who cares about whose fault it is? The fact that there are two injured people is a problem," Rukia said.

"Make that one injured person," Yachiru said as she wobbled over to Kenpachi and sat in his lap.

"What happen? Is Shiro-chan alright?" Hinamori asked.

"Well after we reached the bottom of the stairs, all this stuff came tumbling down the stairs, and before the stuff hit us Snowball throw me out of the way," Yachiru said.

"So captain isn't alright?" Matsumoto asked.

"No I'm terrific after being ran over by a million boxes and vases," Hitsugaya said as he appeared in the living room with even more cuts then before.

"Oh I'm so relieved. I thought you were injured," Matsumoto said.

"Hey Matsumoto come here so I can slap you," Hitsugaya said as he sat down on the ground.

"Yeah I'll get right on that," Matsumoto said as she got more relaxed on the couch to show that it wasn't going to happen.

"So you do have a brain after all. I was beginning to wonder," Hitsugaya said with a smirk on his face.

"That's right captain, beauty _and _brains! I'm so glad to see your maturing enough to see what a catch of a woman I am. But I'm sorry captain, you're just too young and far too short for me." Matsumoto retorted with a grin plastered on her face. Hitsugaya's smirk disappeared into a frown.

"Matsumoto…," he growled through gritted teeth.

"Relax Shiro-chan," Hinamori said as she placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him down, "she's just playing."

"Yeah captain. You should listen to her. I mean that is if you wish to become Momo-chan's boyfriend," Matsumoto said as her grin grow even bigger. Hinamori blushed but hid it so no one could see it.

"Matsumoto!" Hitsugaya said very angrily, but he was still blushing a little.

"Bun Girl plus Snowball would equal a Snowy Bun? Bun Ball? Snowy Girl?" Yachiru began to question herself.

"Yachiru what are you trying to do?" Kenpachi asked.

"Oh I'm trying to figure out what Bun Girl and Snowball would create, but I'm can't decide. How about you guy give me your opinions," Yachiru said as she pointed at Rukia first to decide.

"Um, I liked Snowy Girl," Rukia said with her finger to her lips.

"Yeah me two. Next," Yachiru said as she pointed to Ichigo.

"I guess Snowy Bun," Ichigo said as he scratched his head.

"NEXT!" Yachiru yelled as she pointed to Renji.

"I don't like any of them so none," Renji said as he crossed his arms.

"Fine, NEXT!" Yachiru yelled as she pointed to Kenpachi.

"I think that they are all lame so none," Kenpachi said.

"Fine, NEXT!" Yachiru yelled as she pointed to Matsumoto.

"Since it would be from my captain I bet it will be short like him, so I say we should call it Midget-chan," Matsumoto said with the biggest grin on her face, "Dose everyone agree." At that everyone shock their heads yes, well everyone but Hinamori and Hitsugaya.

"O.K I am tired of you people, so while I go see why a bunch of boxes and vases fell down onto me you guys can discuss any bull shit you want," Hitsugaya said as he began to climb the stairs.

"Wait I want to come too," Hinamori said.

"O.K," Hitsugaya said.

"Well I can't leave you two love birds alone, so I have to come too," Matsumoto said as she ran up the stairs.

"WE ARE NOT LOVE BIRDS!!" Hitsugaya yelled at Matsumoto.

"I want to come too. I mean it did attack me too," Yachiru said as she hopped up on Kenpachi's back and said, "Go Ken-chan."

"You can walk yourself so why should I go?" Kenpachi asked as he tried to swat Yachiru off of him, but it didn't work.

"You'll go because you don't want me to start crying," Yachiru said.

"Fine, but only if you don't cry," Kenpachi said as he began to walk up the stairs.

Rukia, Ichigo, and Renji all sat there staring at each other. Then without a word they walked up the stairs to where everyone was.

Once everyone got to the top of the stairs they saw a door on the ceiling dangling open.

"It's an attic," Rukia said as she pushed past Ichigo and Renji, so she could see better.

"Where's the ladder so we can get up?" Matsumoto asked.

"Well it is an abandon house so the owners probably took it with them," Hinamori answered.

"Um, Ken-chan, how do we get up there if there isn't a ladder?" Yachiru asked. Kenpachi just shrugged his shoulders.

"I have an idea," Hitsugaya said as he made a ladder out of ice.

"Um, captain how about you go up first," Matsumoto said.

"Fine," Hitsugaya said as he began to climb the ladder. Once he reached the top he began to look around. Then he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. He turn to see that it was a raccoon. Out of nowhere the raccoon jumped at Hitsugaya's face and began to scratch at his face.

"Captain are you alright because your legs are twitching?" Matsumoto asked.

Right after she said that she began to hear Hitsugaya scream, and then he fell off the ladder and onto the floor with the raccoon still on his face.

"AH! OMG SOMEONE HELP HIM!!" Hinamori yelled as she backed away.

"Hell no! This is some hilarious shit," Kenpachi said as he fell to the floor laughing.

"I guess I will," Renji said as he walked over to the raccoon and picked it up. Once it saw Renji it stopped scratching and snuggled into his arms.

"Ew, Renji throw it out the window," Matsumoto said as she open the window.

"No. That would be mean," Renji said as he put the raccoon into to a more defensive position, "I'll go let it outside downstairs." With that he want down stairs with the raccoon.

"Hey Ichigo how about you go up the ladder first this time," Kenpachi said.

"How about no," Ichigo said.

"No bells," Kenpachi said.

"Yeah Strawberry has no bells," Yachiru repeated after Kenpachi.

"What the hell dose that mean?" Ichigo asked confused.

"Well it means no balls only it's my version so it's no bells," Kenpachi said.

"Fine. Whatever. I'll go first," Ichigo said as he climbed the ladder. As soon as he got up there he saw a lot more raccoons, and then he said, "Oh shit! There's a whole family." The next minute Ichigo jumped down from the ladder and rolled away. Five raccoons came after him, but stopped dead in their tracks, turned toured Hitsugaya, and attack him.

"AHHHHHH!!" Hitsugaya screamed as slowly one by one he fended them off. Then he asked, "Why the hell do they keep attacking me?"

"Because they love you," Matsumoto said.

"Ha ha ha, very funny Matsumoto," said a very pissed off white haired captain.

"O.K before you guys begin to fight let's check out the attic," Ichigo said.

"Yeah, lets do what strawberry says. I call going up first, because if the raccoons try to attack they have to go through Ken-chan," Yachiru said as she began to bounce up the icy ladder. Everyone followed after her, but Hitsugaya made sure he was the last one up. When they got up there they saw a mattress lying on the ground, and there was a window.

"Hey look there's Renji with the raccoon, and it looks like the other five have joined him. Maybe they will be nice to him like the other one," Rukia said as she looked out the window, "Wait no. They're attacking him now. One is biting his leg, oh and another one is hanging off his arm. Hmmm, that one appears to be going for his throat…and now he's running inside like the little baby he is."

"HOLY SHIT! THOSE THINGS ARE VSICIOUS!!" Renji yelled as he ran up the stairs, and then up the ladder.

"Aw poor baby," Rukia said teasingly.

"Rukia I know it's that time of the month but it doesn't mean you have to be a bitch," Renji said as he sat down next to the exit.

"Damn Rukia you just got told," Ichigo said with a smirk on his face. At that Rukia open the window, ran over to Ichigo, and said, " your going on a short, but hurtful trip." Before Ichigo could even figure out what was going on Rukia picked him up, carried him to the window, and through him out of it.

"I think you killed him by doing that," Hinamori said as she stuck her head out the window, so she could see better.

"I'm not dead yet!" Ichigo yelled up to then.

"Oh your not?" Rukia asked, "I'll just have to fix that." After she said that she grabbed the heaviest box, and dropped it on him.

"O.K lets shut the window," Matsumoto said as she held Rukia back from jumping out it at Ichigo; who dogged the box. Renji shut the window, and then he shut the door to the attic. Then Matsumoto asked Renji, "Why did you shut the door to the attic?"

"So Rukia couldn't go after Ichigo," Renji answered.

"Open it back up," Matsumoto said as she let go of Rukia.

"Fine," Renji said as he open the door.

"Hey just so everyone knows I clam this attic as my room," Hitsugaya said as he sat down on the mattress.

"O.K that was off topic," Matsumoto said.

"I'm hungry," Yachiru said as she hoped off of Kenpachi's shoulder and jumped through the door with out using the ladder.

"Yeah that was even more off topic, but lets all go down stairs before anything else bad happens," Matsumoto said as she climbed down the ladder. Then she went into the living room and everyone followed.

"Hey what's Strawberry doing? He's walking away from the house," Yachiru said as she ran out the door to out front.

"It looks like he's leaving. Come on Hinamori lets go see," Hitsugaya said as he ran out front with Hinamori right behind him.

"I bet he's running from me. I can't let him get away," Rukia said as she ran outside.

"Rukia wait," Renji said as he chased after her, and he grabbed hold of her when he got out front.

"I guess I'll go ask him," Matsumoto said as she walked out front.

"Well I'm going to check to see if there is any beer in the fridge," Kenpachi said as he walked into the kitchen.

"Hey Ichigo where are you going?" Matsumoto asked.

"I'm going home," Came Ichigo's reply. He walked to the sidewalk, and got electrocuted.

"Well this sucks, there's a freaking barrier so we can't leave," Hitsugaya said as he looked at Ichigo's twitching body.


	3. Shiro's worst day ever

Ten minutes later (after Ichigo got electrocuted) Ichigo was lying on the couch wrapped up head to toe, literally, because Yachiru insisted on treating him herself.

"Mpf mpf mppffffff!!!!!" Ichigo tried to speak.

"What, you want me to sit on you? O.K, but that's weird," Yachiru said as she walked over next to him and got ready to sit.

"MPPFFFFFF!!!!!" Ichigo muffled as his body began to shake and wiggle.

"Alright, calm down. I'm sitting down now," Yachiru said as she sat down, and cause Ichigo to scream in pain.

"Yachiru-chan I think you should get off of him. He looks like he's in a lot of pain," Hinamori said in a worried tone.

"No Strawberry is just fine. Right Strawberry?" Yachiru said with a big grin on her face.

Silence.

"Right Strawberry?" Yachiru repeated incase he didn't hear her.

Some more silence.

"Strawberry?" Yachiru said as she now shaking the lifeless mummified body.

"Oh my god is he dead?" Matsumoto asked as she put her hands over her moth.

"Yachiru take the bandages off of his head," Hitsugaya said/ordered.

"Good idea Snowball," Yachiru said as she began tearing the bandages off of his face.

Once they where all gone Ichigo gasped to take in some air. Then he lifted his head up and yell, "TEME!! I DIDN'T SAY SIT ON ME!! I SAID I CAN'T BREATH!!"

"Hey don't yell at me, because even thought I almost killed you, I still saved your life. Oh and you're the teme not me," Yachiru said as she slapped Ichigo across the face.

"Ow, you little brat unwrap me this instant," Ichigo said as he wiggled around.

"No, you called me teme," Yachiru said as she hopped off of Ichigo, ran over to a very angry Kenpachi (because he didn't find any beer) and hopped up onto his shoulder. Then she said, "Did you hear that Ken-chan? Strawberry called me a teme and a brat."

"Well you are a brat," replied Kenpachi.

That caused Yachiru to go into a little hissy fit, and start hitting Kenpachi until he had enough and swatted her off his shoulder.

"Uh hello is anyone going to unwrap me?" Ichigo said as he wiggled around.

Everyone looked at each other before pointing at the person next to them. Then Matsumoto said, "O.K I know I speak for everyone when I say my Captain should do it." At that everyone shook their heads in agreement. At lest everyone but Hitsugaya.

"You are mistaking Matsumoto, because one you not speaking for everyone you are only speaking for yourself, and two you can not tell your captain what to do," Hitsugaya said with his arms crossed.

"But Captain I am speaking for everyone, because they all agreed," Matsumoto said with a pouty face.

"No Matsumoto your wrong, because one I didn't agree and last time I checked I am somebody, and two the only reason they agreed was because they didn't have to unwrap the strawberry mummy," Hitsugaya said as he pointed at Ichigo.

"I DON'T CARE WHO UNWRAPS ME JUST DO IT ALREADY!!" Ichigo yelled and fell off of the couch because of all the force he used yelling.

Kenpachi walked over to Ichigo, picked him up, and ripped all off the bandages off. Then he said, "Now stop freaking whining, all of you."

"O.K Kenpachi, but could you please put me down," Ichigo asked.

"No," responded Kenpachi as he made his grip tighter on the collar of Ichigo's T-shirt.

"But why not?" asked Ichigo.

"Because. I. Don't. Like. You," Kenpachi said in Ichigo's face.

"O.K. I don't want to admit this but, I think I might have just crapped my pants," Ichigo said shaking.

"Eeeeeeewwwwwwww. I did not need to know that," Rukia said as she backed away from him.

Just then a TV came out from the roof and hit Renji on the head as it came down. "Ow," Renji said as he stood up rubbing his head.

Then the TV turned on and Yamamoto appeared onto the screen. "Hello," Yamamoto said.

"Oh hi Grandpa. What are you up to now?" Yachiru said as she began jumping up and down as she waved her hand.

"Um I was just about to tell you some news but, first let me say this, Kenpachi put down Ichigo," Yamamoto said.

"Fine whatever," Kenpachi said as he let go of Ichigo and let him fall to the ground.

"Thanks Yamamoto," Ichigo said as he stood up and straighten himself up.

"You should show more respect for your superior, Ichigo," Hitsugaya said to Ichigo and then turned his attention to Yamamoto and continued, "so Captain-Commander Yamamoto, what's the news?"

"Oh yeah, there will be another person joining you," Yamamoto said.

"Really, and who will be joining use in this hell hole?" Matsumoto asked.

"Captain Ichimaru," Yamamoto answered.

"I'm sorry but I don't think I heard you right. Did you say Ichimaru Gin?" Hitsugaya asked.

"Yes I did Captain Hitsugaya, why?" Yamamoto answered.

"My Captain hates his guts, because he's taller and can kick his butt," Matsumoto said.

"That is not true Matsumoto," Hitsugaya said as he began to pout like a little kid.

"Yes it is," Matsumoto said teasingly.

"You don't have proof," Hitsugaya said.

"Yes I do, because half the time you're always saying stuff like that, and the when your not then you're talking about paper work and Hinamori," Matsumoto said.

"You don't have proof about the last part," Hitsugaya said as he avoided eye contact with Hinamori and blushed.

"Oh really Captain are you sure about that. You know when you think that I'm sleeping because of a hang over; well I'm really not. I just pretend I am so I can listen to you talking to your self," Matsumoto said with a Gin grin on her face.

Then came an awkward pause before Yachiru said something to make it even worse for Hitsugaya, "I bet Snowball has wet dreams about Bun Girl."

"I'm going to go kill myself now," Hitsugaya said as he snuck away.

"Dude, Kenpachi, what the hell are you teaching this girl?" Renji asked with a face that said he really didn't want to know.

"Oh the basic stuff kids her age learn," Kenpachi answered with a face that said 'duh.'

"Eeeeeeewwwwwwww," Hinamori said as she curled up into a ball.

"What you don't like my Captain?" Matsumoto asked confused.

"Its not that, I like him as a friend," Hinamori said.

"Then why did you go 'eeeeeeewwwwwwww?'" Matsumoto asked.

"Because I see images I don't want to," Hinamori said blushing a bit.

"Oh, and what is in Momo-chan's dirty little mind?" Matsumoto asked, "Could she be picturing my poor, innocent, little Captain naked, or could she be picturing him and her doing it?" At this Hinamori passed out.

"O.K, I don't want to listen to you sick-Os anymore so I'll be going," Yamamoto said.

"Wait before you go I have one question," Rukia said.

"Please don't tell me it will be sick and perverted," Yamamoto said.

"No its not. I just want to know how we will get food," Rukia said.

"Oh right. When you need something call me and I'll send it," Yamamoto answered.

"O.K Grandpa. Bye, bye now," Yachiru said as she waved her hand in the air.

"Good bye," Yamamoto said, and then the TV turned off and disappeared.

"I'll be right back," Matsumoto said as she headed up the stairs.

"Wait, Rangiku, where are you going," Renji asked.

"I'm going to make sure my Captain didn't kill himself," Matsumoto said as she disappeared up stairs.

-----------------

"Captain are you still alive?" Matsumoto asked as she climb up the icy ladder that started to melt.

"Technically no," Hitsugaya said from the window that he was looking out of, "I think those raccoons are planning an attack on me."

"Really, and why is that?" Matsumoto asked as she crawled over and sat down next to her Captain.

"Because they are formed in a circle, and they keep looking and pointing at me," Hitsugaya said without taking his eyes off of the evil raccoons.

"Hey Captain are you mad at me?" Matsumoto asked as she took her eyes off of the raccoons, and looked at her Captain.

"No I'm not, but I will be if you ruin my friendship with Hinamori," Hitsugaya said as he finally took his eyes off of the raccoons to look at his lieutenant.

"Oh you're so cute," Matsumoto said as she tackled her Captain with a hug.

"Matsumoto…get…off of…me," Hitsugaya struggled to say because he was being suffocated by Matsumoto's breast.

"But captain you're so cute," Matsumoto said as she got off of her Captain.

Then they heard someone coming up the almost fully melted ladder.

-----------------

There was a nock at the door and Yachiru said, "I bet its Fox Face. Strawberry answer the door," Yachiru said.

"Why can't you?" Ichigo asked.

"Because Ken-Chan said I'm not aloud to answer the door to strangers," Yachiru answered.

"But you know who it is," Ichigo said a bit confused.

"Fine I'll answer it. You don't have to be a baby just because you're not sure who it is," Yachiru said as she walked over to the door.

"But I do know who it is. Its Gin," Ichigo said even more confused.

"You're not making any sense man," Yachiru said as she opened the door. As soon as she saw Gin she screamed, "Fox Face I didn't know you would be coming."

"Uh yes, yes you did. I could hear you through the door," Gin said with his grin on, "isn't there supposed to be two other people?"

"Yeah they are upstairs in the attic," Rukia said pointing up, "You'll know where the attic is because there will be an ice ladder sticking out of it."

"O.K. Bye, bye now," Gin said with his little grin, and disappeared upstairs.

-----------------

Then Matsumoto and Hitsugaya heard someone climbing up the almost fully melted ladder.

"You should really fix that ladder Hitsugaya-kun," Gin said as his head appeared, and then he pulled the rest of his body up, "Hey Rangiku-san."

"Hi Gin," Matsumoto said as she stood up so her Captain could get up.

"Uh Rangiku-san what were you and Hitsugaya-kun doing, and why is Hinamori passed out down stairs, and why are you guys up here?" Gin asked.

"Oh, um, well Hinamori is passed out because of what I said," Matsumoto said.

"And probably from what Yachiru said," Hitsugaya added. "We're up hear because I was making sure my captain didn't kill himself," Matsumoto continued, "And what we're doing is…um."

"Matsumoto was suffocating me with her breast," Hitsugaya finished for her.

"O.K. Um this is a cool attic, it even has a mattress, so I call it for where I sleep," Gin said as he flopped down onto the mattress.

"To bad I already called it," Hitsugaya said as he got up, walked over to where Gin was, and kicked him off of the mattress.

"I'll fight you for it," Gin said as he stood up and stared Hitsugaya in the face.

"O.K we'll fight right now," Hitsugaya said as he tripped Gin.

"Fine by me," Gin said as he grabbed Hitsugaya's legs and pulled them out from underneath him.

Then Hitsugaya kicked Gin in the head, and got up. Gin got up to and tackled Hitsugaya; which caused them to fall through the attic door. Hitsugaya got up only to be punched in the face by Gin. That caused Hitsugaya to stumble down the stairs, and when he caught his balance Gin dove down half of the stairs at Hitsugaya. They landed at the bottom of the stairs. Hitsugaya got up, picked Gin up and head butted him. By now everyone was watching the fight even Hinamori, because she woke up.

"Oh my gosh why are they fighting?" Hinamori asked as Hitsugaya came flying past her.

"They are fighting over the attic," Matsumoto said as she came down the stairs.

Just then they heard glass shatter and a body hit the floor. Everyone ran into the kitchen to see Hitsugaya and Gin lying on the floor exhausted, and bleeding from the head.

"How about for now we share the room for now," Gin said as he looked at Hitsugaya.

"O.K, but only until I have enough strength to fight you again," Hitsugaya said as he turned his head to look back at Gin.

"Uh yeah that's great that for now you won't be fighting each other, but there is only one mattress," Matsumoto said as she walked over to them and helped them up.

Then Hitsugaya and Gin looked at each other and attacked each other again. Before they could hurt each other anymore Yachiru put handcuffs on their wrist and said, "No more fighting!"

"Where did you get this from?" Ichigo asked.

"Oh I always have a pair on me," Yachiru answered.

"O.K we'll stop fighting, so where's the key?" Hitsugaya said as he tried to pry his hand free.

"Oh this things come with keys?" Yachiru said with her finger to her chin.

"You don't have a key. I can't be stuck to this freak," Hitsugaya said as he began to lose his cool.

"Yeah I can't bend down my whole life just because I'm stuck to a midget that hand is to low for mine," Gin said as he lifted his hand as high as he could, and lifted Hitsugaya off his butt a little bit, "See."

"You now what I'm tiered and I don't need this shit right now so good night," Hitsugaya said as he began to walk away, and dragged Gin's body along with him.

"Wait a minute Hitsugaya-kun it's only 10:00p.m," Gin said, "and beside I'm not tiered."

"Well doesn't that suck," Hitsugaya said as he began to go upstairs.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow," was all that everyone could hear as Gin got dragged upstairs.

"This is going to be a very long five month," Matsumoto said.


	4. On Inapropiatness

"Wait, how are they going to sleep?" Yachiru asked.

"I really don't know," Matsumoto answered.

"How about we send a little spy to see how they are doing," Rukia said with an evil grin on.

"O.K, but there's one problem. We don't have one," Renji said.

"Oh yes we do," Rukia said as she looked at Yachiru.

-----------------

The next second Yachiru was covered all over in black clothes, (except for her head) and outside.

"O.K Yachiru you know what you're doing right?" Rukia asked.

"Yeah, I climb into the window to the attic, hide in a dark corner, don't make any noise, come back down here after ten minutes, tell you what happen and get candy as a reward," Yachiru said as she acted out everything she said.

"Good, and if they see you then what do you do?" Rukia asked.

"I would do what Kenny told me to do," Yachiru said as she pointed to Kenpachi.

"And what is that," Rukia asked.

"Kick them in the balls that they don't have," Yachiru answered with a giant grin on her face.

"Great now go," Rukia said as she pointed to the window.

"Ok but one thing first," Yachiru said as she walked over to Renji, "You better give me the candy when I get back or I swear that I will ripe out your small intestine and wrap it around your head as a new bandana. Then I will take your large intestine and use it to hang your worthless, monkey looking body, and then I will use the large intestine to drag you lifeless body all the way home to your beloved captain. Which will cause him to throw you on the street and I will come back and burn your hideous body." With that Yachiru skipped away and hopped up, into the window.

Everyone sat there for a minute in silence, until Kenpachi leaned in close to Renji's ear and said, "She will too," and walked back into the house.

"You don't have the candy do you?" Matsumoto asked a little amused.

"No," Renji managed to spit out.

"Bwha ha ha ha ha. I-if I was you I'd… ha ha ha. I'm s-sorry but you are soooo screwed. Ha ha ha ha," Matsumoto said/laughed as she pointed to Renji.

"Oh you mean how you always are every Friday, you stupid whore," Renji said angrily.

"Know that was low, even for a peanut brain like you, and besides you can't prove anything," Matsumoto said as she crossed her arms.

"Oh, why don't you just ask my Captain about last night," Renji said triumphantly because he knew that he won the argument.

"Asshole," Matsumoto said as she began to walk back into the house and then she add, "By the way if Yachiru doesn't do what she said she would, you can count on me doing it."

"Yeah and while your at my Captains headquarters you can give him another lap dance!" Renji yelled to Matsumoto before she shut the door behind her. Right before the door shut Matsumoto gave Renji the middle finger.

"Oh no I'm so scared of you. What are you going to do have sex with me like you did with all of the other guys in the seireitei?" Renji began to make himself shake.

As soon as Renji was done making his wiseass comment, the door flew off of its hinges and nailed him in the face.

"Don't worry Renji, I wont sleep with you because I already know that your gay," Matsumoto said, "Oh yeah, Kenpachi says that you better get you monkey ass up before he drags you up, and fix the door or else."

"Why the hell do I have to?" Renji asked as he threw the door off of himself.

"Because he can help you out with your little problem," Matsumoto said as she pointed up stairs.

"Ok then lets fix ourselves a door," Renji said as he got up and held the door in place. "Ok everyone please go inside so I can fix the door."

"I could help you if you want Renji," Hinamori offered.

"Um well…"

"Hinamori-chan can you help me…um…eh…oh I got one, can you help me take a bath?" Matsumoto asked as she grabbed Hinamori's arm, and began to drag her down the hall.

"I guess I could Rangiku, but why can't you do it yourself?" Hinamori asked as she slowed down Matsumoto, by trying to stop her.

"Because it's so hard when you have huge boobs that get in the way. You know what I mean?" Matsumoto said as she stopped to look at Hinamori, "Oh yeah that's right your basically flat chested. Oh well you're still growing so there is still time, but if they don't grow it's ok. My captain will love you no matter what. Now back to the bath, lets go," Matsumoto said as she began to drag the blushing Hinamori again.

"Was that a complement or an insult?" Hinamori asked Matsumoto.

"Both because even though I call you flat chested, which is true, I still said that you are pretty enough to have someone liking you," Matsumoto said as they reached the bathroom door.

"Wow… um that was weird," Kenpachi said as he turned his direction back to Renji, "Are you done yet. I mean god Yumichika can do this faster then you, and he would change his clothes every five seconds."

"Well I would be done faster if Ichigo and Rukia would move their fat assess," Renji said angrily.

"Oh I'm so sorry," Rukia said as she walked past Renji and kicked him in the balls.

"Oh let me help you up Renji," Ichigo said as he upper cutted Renji's jaw. That caused Renji to go a few feet off the ground and he landed on his back.

"Aren't we so nice Ichigo?" Rukia asked.

"Why yes we are," Ichigo answered.

-----------------

"Gin," Hitsugaya said a bit angrily.

"What do you want Hitsugaya-kun?" Gin said with his normal smile on his face.

"Get you creepy ass hand off of my ass before I cut it off!" Hitsugaya said even more angrily.

"Oh I'm sorry Hitsugaya-kun I thought that was a pillow."

"Eww, are you gay Fox Face!" Yachiru blurted out from the dark corner.

"Yachiru what the hell are you doing in my…" Hitsugaya started but was interrupted.

"In our room Hitsugaya-kun not just yours," Gin added/interrupted.

"Fine what are you doing in our room?" Hitsugaya said pissed off.

"To see what you guys…or should I say gays were doing," Yachiru said innocently.

"WE ARE NOT GAY!! Well at least I'm not, but I don't know about Gin. Also what the hell do you think we are doing!" Hitsugaya said trying to stay under control.

"Um well from my point of view, Fox Face and you gonna get together and try to make a million demented babies, but you can't because there is something wrong with your baby making gene, Snowball. So then you gays will go to plan B and make Big Boobys' pregnant with your child Fox Face. Then when your mutated kids are one to five years old you gays will divorce. Snowball will marry Bun Girl, after killing her first husband Mr. Friendly. Who turns out to have been abusing her, and Fox Face will go off and rape Big Boobys' again. Then you will have a million squinty eyed babies, and then he will keep disappearing and reappearing like he always does," Yachiru said as she paced back and forth the whole time.

"Where the hell did you get that answer?" Hitsugaya said confused.

"I got it from my brilliant mind," Yachiru said as she knocked on her head.

"I wouldn't call it brilliant, but maybe really creative," Gin said trying not to make it sound like she was stupid.

"You mean really stupid," Hitsugaya corrected him.

Yachiru got pissed at this and kicked both Hitsugaya and Gin in the balls.

-----------------

"Ah the water is ready, so Hinamori-chan are you going to join me? There's enough room for four people," Matsumoto asked as she stripped down to nothing.

"Um no thank you Matsumoto. I think I'm going to leave know, because you can wash yourself right?" said as she began to walk to the door.

"Wrong answer," Matsumoto said as she began to shove Hinamori toured the bathtub, and the through her in.

"Matsumoto you…you stupid jerk with the over sized melons!" Hinamori yelled as she stood up soaking wet.

"Oh calm down Hinamori-chan, so you're a little wet big deal," Matsumoto said as she walked into the tub.

"I'm not just a little wet, I'm soaked and I don't have extra clothes right now," Hinamori said frustrated.

"So, then go out there and get some dry clothes," Matsumoto said calmly as she began to sink deeper into the warm water.

"I can't go out there in dripping wet clothes."

"Then strip down and put a towel around you, then go out there and get dry clothes."

"Fine but I'm going to sprint," Hinamori said as she striped and put a towel around herself.

-----------------

"I'm finally done," Renji said as he fell back onto his but to sit and stair at the door.

"Good, now was that so hard?" Kenpachi asked.

"Yes because of those two," Renji said as he pointed to Ichigo and Rukia.

-----(_Flash Back)_-----

_"Yes I finished it, and it didn't take that long," Renji said._

_"Oh, then how about we make it take longer," Rukia said as she walked over to the door and kicked it off of its hinges, again._

_"Oh and don't forget this, Rukia," Ichigo said as he blow the door into peaces._

_"Why?" Renji asked as he began to cry._

_"Because Chappy doesn't like you," Rukia said as she pulled a sketchbook out of no were that had a picture of Chappy._

_"Why the hell do you always need to bring your crappy drawling into a conversation?" Ichigo asked only to be nailed in the stomach with the sketchbook._

-----(End of Flash Back)-----

"Your welcome Renji," both Ichigo and Rukia said at the same time with huge grins on their faces.

"I hate you both soooo much," Renji said as he glared at them.

"Hate is a strong word," Rukia started.

"We would rather you say dislike," Ichigo finished.

"Go drink some bleach," Renji said as he turned back to Kenpachi, "So what do I get paid?"

"Some candy to give to Yachiru," Kenpachi said as he handed Renji candy.

"Speaking of Yachiru, it's been past ten minutes," Rukia said.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Hitsugaya screamed from the attic.

Then there was a pause and then came Yachiru's voice yelling, "EUNUCH!!"

-----------------

"Get back here you little brat!" Hitsugaya said pissed off as he chased Yachiru down the stairs, with Gin following right behind.

"No," Yachiru said as she reached the bottom of the stairs and turned the corner.

-----------------

Hinamori open the bathroom door in time to see Yachiru go flying past. Curious to know what was going on, Hinamori open the door all the way and stepped outside of the bathroom still dripping water, even with a towel. She made a puddle that lead to the bottom of the stairs. Then she saw Hitsugaya and Gin land onto the puddle. That caused them to slide really fast into the bathroom. They hit Hinamori on the way, which caused her to lose her towel, and with out thinking grabbed her to join them. Everyone landed in the tub were Matsumoto was. Gin wound up lying on top of Matsumoto, and his head keep going forward so he smacked it on the wall. Hitsugaya on the other hand wound up on lying on Hinamori, and his face landed in her boobs. Hinamori, who was under Hitsugaya naked, hit her lightly on the wall.

Gin lifted up his head and said, "Hello Ran-chan, so how have you been?"

"Um, well I've been better. You know, like when you not on top of me, and when my Captain can't see me naked," Matsumoto answered.

"I bet that if only being in your underwear was an option for your everyday outfit, you'd wear it," Hitsugaya said as he lifted up his face.

"That would be a good outfit but I wouldn't wear it around you Captain," Matsumoto said as she moved a little to get more comfortable.

"So Ran-chan whom would you wear it around?" Gin asked with his little grin."

"I don't know," Matsumoto said like 'what kind of question is that to ask a women.'

"Me, me, pick me," Gin said excitedly while pointing to him self.

"Gin, you are the most sick and perverted guy I have ever known," Hitsugaya said as he tried to get up, but he misplaced his hand and it landed on Hinamori's boob.

"Ahhhhh! Shiro-chan stop groping my boob and get off of me!" Hinamori yelled as she began to flail around, which caused Hitsugaya to fall again and his face landed in the same spot. That caused her to freak out even more so she kneed Hitsugaya in the nuts.

-----(Back at Soul Society during a Captains' meeting)-----

"Everyone be quit while I see how everyone is doing," Yamamoto ordered as a screen came down from the ceiling.

"Yes sir," almost all of the other captains said.

Then the screen turned on and its view was over the bathtub with four blurry figures in it. The camera came into view and every one (except for Tosen because he's blind) saw Gin on top of Matsumoto, and Hitsugaya with his face in Hinamori's boobs. Also they can see that Hitsugaya and Gin are hand cuffed together, because Hitsugaya was holding one of his hands out of the water.

"Wow I didn't know you could get porn on this channel," Shunsui said with a little smirk on his face.

"This is not porn, it is two of your fellow captains trying to have their way with two helpless lieutenants," Yamamoto said angrily.

"They're not two helpless lieutenants, because first off Matsumoto can kick ass if she wants which she obviously she doesn't want to. Also Hinamori keeps punching and kneeing Hitsugaya in the balls," Soi Fon said as she watched.

"Captain/General Yamamoto, would you please turn on the volume so I can hear what is truly happening to my lieutenant?" Aizen asked.

"Ok, but everyone has to be quit so they don't know we're here," Yamamoto said as he turned on the volume.

"Shiro-chan, get your face out of my boobs!" Hinamori demanded.

"I'm trying to, but you need to stop…" was all that Hitsugaya got out before being kicked in the balls for the ninetieth time. "STOP KICKING ME IN THE BALLS YOU STUPID BITCH!! I MEAN GOD IS IT KICK TOSHIRO IN THE BALLS DAY!!" Hitsugaya said extremely pissed off.

"Calm down Captain, I mean you can't blame this situation all on her. Oh and Gin," Matsumoto said.

"Yes Ran-chan," Gin said as he turned his attention back to Matsumoto.

"Stop slowly undressing yourself," Matsumoto finished.

"Hinamori don't move and I will get up, and then I'm going to kill Yachiru," Hitsugaya said as he slowly but successful getting up. Since the screen view was from above they could see Hinamori naked.

Then Hitsugaya stepped out off the tub-soaking wet and said to Gin, "Come on Gin."

"No, I'm fine right here," Gin said as he was still lying on top of Matsumoto.

"I don't care," Hitsugaya said as he began to pull Gin off of Matsumoto, but Gin shoved Hitsugaya's head into the water again. This only mad Hitsugaya more angry, so he picked Gin up, put him on the ground, and began to punch him. Gin fought back though and the two rolled out of view of the screen view.

Yamamoto turned off the screen and said, " Maybe this was a bad idea, I mean because they are getting along worst then before."

"That was awesome, fighting and naked girls," Shunsui said happily, "and we can get more money by having people pay to see this."

-----(Back at the house)-----

"Were is my candy Monkey Man?" Yachiru asked as she ran over to Renji.

"Right here," Renji said as he handed the candy to Yachiru.

"So what happen Yachiru?" Rukia asked.

"Oh Fox Face slapped Snowballs ass and Snowball was all like, 'Hit me harder' so Fox Face did. It was horrible, and they were going to try to have babies but I stopped them," Yachiru said as fast as she could.

"No wonder Toshiro isn't attracted to Matsumoto," Ichigo said believing Yachiru.

"Knowing Yachiru, what she just told us was a lie," Kenpachi said.

"But it isn't a lie, it's all true," Yachiru whined.

Just then Hitsugaya came into the room dragging Gin, because Gin didn't feel like walking, and said, "I'm going to kill you." With that Hitsugaya's soaking wet body dove at Yachiru.


	5. sometimes it's better to stay asleep

Sorry this took so long, school just gets in the way of everything.

Well hope you enjoy this chapter. -

Review please:D

Before Hitsugaya could reach Yachiru, Kenpachi grabbed him by the collar and pulled him back. That caused Hitsugaya to make a gagging sound. His shirt rip right down the back and it fell off. He sat lying on his stomach, with his eyes shut, and holding his throat.

Then Hitsugaya said, "What the hell Kenpachi? What the hell?"

"You mess with Yachiru, you mess with me," Kenpachi said as he picked Hitsugaya up by the neck, because Toshiro's shirt ripped off.

"What if I mess with only you?" Hitsugaya asked barely, because Kenpachi was choking him.

"Huh, what do you…" was what Kenpachi got out before Toshiro swung his right leg into Kenpachi's face, and knocked him down, which caused Kenpachi to let go of Hitsugaya's neck.

"Gin, are you a fast runner?" Hitsugaya asked.

"Nah, not really…or am I?" Gin answered.

"What ever just get onto my back, now," Hitsugaya said rushing Gin, so he hopped onto Hitsugaya's back as fast as he could. Hitsugaya look at Kenpachi, who was just about to stand strait up, and ran down the hall and up the stairs, with Kenpachi twenty-five steps away.

"Ya know, Hitsugaya-kun, ya pretty muscly for a child," Gin said with one of his arms dangling across Hitsugaya chest and the other arm dangling at his side.

"I'm not a child, I'm just young and short," Hitsugaya said as he turned his head to look Gin's creepy little face.

They reached where the ladder had been but it melted fully. Instead of just making another ladder, Hitsugaya jumped up and grabbed the frame of the attic door. Gin, on the other hand, made it all the way into the attic and had help Hitsugaya up, into the attic.

As soon as Toshiro got onto his feet, he slammed the attic door shut.

"Can we please go to bed now?" Hitsugaya whined/cried.

"Yeah, I'm ge'ing tired any ways," Gin yawned out as he stretched and inched his way over to the mattress lying on the ground.

They both shared the "bed" pretty decently that night.

-----------------

"Damn that stupid white haired punk!" Kenpachi yelled angrily as he walked into the guys' room, "Tomorrow morning he is going to get what's coming for him."

"It's ok Ken-chan, he has already suffered enough by being a midget. I mean, I'll probably become taller then him some day," Yachiru said as she hopped down from Kenpachi's shoulder and onto one of the beds.

"What ever," was Kenpachi's replay to Yachiru's statement.

He took off his jacket and shoes, and lay down on the bed.

"NOOOOOOOO! Kenny doesn't go to sleep. He stays up and goes on a 'I hate everyone' rampage," Yachiru said as she freaked out and began to bounce off the walls (literately). Then she hit her head on the ceiling and got knocked-out, and fell onto Kenpachi.

"At least she's quit," Kenpachi said as he turned off the light and fell asleep.

-----------------

"I feel so violated," Hinamori said as her and Matsumoto appeared in the living room.

"Why do you feel violated, Momo?" Renji asked from the couch.

"Because Captain fell into the tub while me and her were naked, and he happen to land on our good friend over here," Matsumoto paused to direct every ones attention towards Momo, "and touched her booby's."

"But Matsumoto, didn't you feel violated too? I mean one of you best friends was also on top of you," Hinamori asked.

"No, I mean it's no big deal. So Gin was on top of me when I was naked, big deal. Yeah it was a little awkward, but at least he wasn't completely naked 'cause that would just be plan wrong," Matsumoto said as she took off all her clothes except her underwear.

"You see why I call her a whore? Not only did she just say she didn't mind her friend being on top of her when she's naked, but she just striped down into her underwear in front of two guys!" Renji yelled as he jumped up and pointed to nearly naked Matsumoto, "I'm going to freaking bed." With that Renji stormed away.

"Ah my somewhat virgin eyes," Ichigo said as he covered his eyes, but left holes in-between his fingers to look through.

"Idiot," Rukia said as she punched Ichigo in the face.

"Stupid bitch, you made me bleed!" Ichigo yelled as he wiped blood from his mouth.

"Oh I'm sorry, was that to much for a baby to handle," Rukia said in a mocking tone.

"Now that I think about it, I should've just left you to die. It would make things so much easier," Ichigo said angrily as he stood up.

"Maybe you should have since I'm such a hassle," Rukia said pissed.

With that she stomped away.

"Damn now my head hurts," Ichigo said as he walked out of the room and up to bed.

"Well Momo, you want to join me in a drink?" Matsumoto asked as she grabbed a bottle of sake from nowhere.

"Where did you get the sake?" Hinamori asked.

"Do not question the all mighty and powerful ruler of my life, sake," Matsumoto said as she sat down on the couch.

"I think I'm just going to go to sleep, night Matsumoto," Hinamori said as she walked to bed.

"Fine more for me," Matsumoto called after Momo as she chugged down the bottle and pulled another one out.

---------(Next day)---------

"Strawberry, wake up!" Yachiru whined as she bounced up and down on Ichigo. (who happens to be on the floor because there where only two beds)

Ichigo just shifted in his sleep, so Yachiru bit into his right shoulder.

**"OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!" **Ichigo yelled as he sat up fast and grabbed his shoulder.

"Finally your awake," Yachiru said as she walked over to a sleepy looking Kenpachi.

"Kenpachi, you should really think about getting that demon of yours a leash," Ichigo said as he stood up and stretched.

"You don't think I tried? She ate the last one," Kenpachi said sluggishly.

"Oh, then get her a chain leash this time," Ichigo said as he walked over to the sleeping Renji.

"The last one was a chain leash," Kenpachi said with a bit more energy this time.

"I'm not as surprised as I should at that," Ichigo said as he began to shake Renji awake.

"That won't work. I already tried to wake him up, but he sleeps through everything," Yachiru said as she climbed up, and onto the ceiling fan.

"Oh, then watch this," Ichigo said as he raised his fist in the air, and brought it down on Renji's lower stomach fast.

"Hello!" Renji yelled as he sat up fast.

"Hi how ya doing," Yachiru said from the ceiling fan as she waved.

"Who the hell hit me, what the hell is wrong with my dream, and why the hell is Yachiru onto of the ceiling fan?" Renji said a bit confused but manly mad.

"I hit you, no idea, and because she's retarded," Ichigo said raising his hand.

"You dick. You almost damaged the goods," Renji said as he got out of bed and in Ichigo's face.

"What goods," Ichigo said as he got in Renji's face also.

With that Renji dove at Ichigo. As soon as Ichigo got back to his feet he ran into the hallway and down the stairs with Renji right behind him.

"Sissy," Kenpachi said as he stood up and looked at the hole in the wall, "oh yeah, I forgot I made this hole fighting that little shrimp who calls himself a captain."

"No his name is Snowball, and people say I'm bad at remembering names," Yachiru said as she dived from the fan towards the hole. She landed a bit short, so she tripped and smacked her face on the rubble of the wall.

"Oh my gosh, Yachiru are you all right?" Hinamori asked as she walked over to Yachiru's limp body.

Silence.

"She'll be fine," Kenpachi said as he walked over to her.

"She's bleeding from the head," Hinamori said a bit angry that Kenpachi didn't care.

"Again, she will be fine," Kenpachi said as he got in Hinamori's face.

"Obviously she's not ok, so unlike you I'm actually going to help her," Hinamori said as she picked up Yachiru, "Oh by the way, Kenpachi, just because you can take a lot of deathly hits doesn't mean your subordinates can."

With that Hinamori walked angrily out of the room with Yachiru in her arms.

"Man, it's impossible to sleep with all of this commotion," Rukia said as she got up sluggishly and walked out of the room.

Kenpachi soon joined the group.

-------(Down stairs)-------

"Stop running away like a little baby," Renji said as he reached the last step.

"No, your just jealous because I'm stronger and faster then you," Ichigo said as he ran past Matsumoto. He stopped running and walked backwards to stare at her.

"Ha, so you decided to stop running. Good decision Ichigo," Renji said as he caught up to Ichigo.

"No, I stop because Matsumoto is a little more then half naked right now," Ichigo said as he shook Matsumoto's braless body.

"Five-ish more min…uh mins…um five more sixty seconds Captain. I'm having a wonderful dream about…someone," Matsumoto said as she shoved her hand into Ichigo's face.

"Matsumoto I'm not your Captain, now wake up and put clothes on," Ichigo said as he shook her harder.

"But it's so much more comfortable to not have my boobs restricted," Matsumoto said fully awake.

"Someone give me band aids or something," Hinamori said as she came running down the stairs with Yachiru in her arms.

"Here you go Momo, I've gots some here for you," Matsumoto said as she grabbed some band-aids from no were, and waved them in the air.

"Thanks," Hinamori said as she grabbed them from Matsumoto and began to apply them to Yachiru's head.

"I'm hungry getting something to eat," Matsumoto said as she got off the table and walked into the kitchen.

"Please put your bra back on," Ichigo begged.

"Fine you little sissy," Matsumoto said as she grabbed her bra and put in on.

"Fucking Kenpachi and his fucking… need silence, need sleep," Rukia mumbled as she walked down the stairs and over to Ichigo. Then she rested her head on him and tried to fall asleep.

"Get off of me!" Ichigo yelled as he began to freak out.

"Shut up!" Rukia punched Ichigo in the stomach. Then she walked over to Renji and rested her head on him.

Then Kenpachi came downstairs, said, "Sissy," to Ichigo as he past him, and sat down on the couch.

Matsumoto came back with a bowl of cereal in her hands and sat down to eat.

"Were did you get that," Hinamori asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Matsumoto said as she shoveled cereal into her mouth.

"MY EYES!!!!" Hitsugaya screamed from up stairs.

-------(The Attic)-------

"Calm down Hitsu-chan, its just manly hood," Gin said as he stood up and walked over to the window. (oh, just so you know at night Hitsugaya got so mad he froze the handcuffs and broke them to pieces)

"Oh so your saying its 'manly hood' for when you are completely naked!" Hitsugaya yelled as he threw a sheet at Gin.

"Precisely," Gin said as he hit the sheet away and walked towards Hitsugaya.

"Why the hell did you take off your clothes last night anyway?" Hitsugaya said as he through a pillow at Gin, but he kept walking closer to Toushiro.

"Good question, not answering it though. Hey Hitsu-chan are ya jealous?" Gin said as he got in Hitsugaya's face.

"Jealous of what?" Hitsugaya asked, face turning pink.

"This lovely part of me here," Gin said as he pointed to his penis.

"What the hell kind of question is that? And for gods sake put on pants," Hitsugaya said as he covered his eyes.

"So ya jealous aren't ya?" Gin said making his smile even bigger. (if that's possible)

Hitsugaya kicked him in the face and said, "One wipe that smile off your face, two I am definitely not jealous of that puny thing, three put some god damn clothes on, and four when did you start calling me 'Hitsu-chan' anyway?"

"It's not puny it's a normal size, and I'll put on my clothes only if ya admit that ya are jealous. Oh, and I started calling you Hitsu-chan today," Gin said.

"Screw off."

"Fine I'll go all day with out clothes."

"You're an ass an it is too puny."

"Fine, let me see ya penis and we'll compare ours to see if mine is puny like ya say."

"Fuck off you pervert."

"Say the words and I'll put on my clothes, or you can prove me wrong by showing me you penis."

"Fine. I'm fucking jealous," Hitsugaya said through gritted teeth.

"No, say it like you mean it."

"I'm jealous."

"Good now go downstairs and say exactly these words, 'the beautiful and sexy Gin has a bigger penis then me, and I am a jealous whore' ok."

"That wasn't part of the deal."

"Ah but it is now."

"Fine but I want to shake on it so you can't make me do something else."

"Ok," Gin agreed as he stuck out his hand and shook Hitsugaya's hand.

"Alright I'll be right back."

With that Hitsugaya left the attic, and Gin sat on top of the mattress with a triumphant look on his face.

-------(Downstairs)-------

"Everyone shut up!" Matsumoto yelled.

"Good idea, that way we can hear what they are doing up there," Renji said, laying Rukia down on the couch.

"No, because I have a hang over and my head hurts like hell," Matsumoto said grabbing her head.

"Hey I hear foot steps on the stairs," Hinamori said.

"Good for you," Matsumoto said as she began to chug down the remaining milk in her cereal bowl.

Then Hitsugaya appeared at the bottom of the steps even more angry then usual.

"The beautiful and sexy Gin has a bigger penis then me, and I am a jealous whore," Hitsugaya said aloud.

With that Matsumoto dropped the bowl and sprayed milk everywhere. Rukia became wide-awake, sat up and starred at Hitsugaya. Ichigo just gave him a 'what the fuck' face along with Renji. Kenpachi paid him no attention and Hinamori past out.

"Ha ha ha ha, you're messed up Snowball," Yachiru said laughing and pointing.

"That is all, and I will leave with what little pride I have left," Hitsugaya said as he turned around and went back upstairs.

-------(The Attic)-------

"You happy. Now put on your damn clothes," Hitsugaya said as he slam shut the attic door.

"Ok fine," Gin said as he began to look for his clothes, but he couldn't find them, "Uh oh."

"Uh oh what?"

"Uh oh I can't find my clothes, type of uh oh."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah."

"You should be happy I have an extra pare of boxers," Hitsugaya said as he got the extra pare of boxers and handed them to Gin.

"Thanks," Gin said as he put them on, " their a bit snug."

"Well they'll have to do. Oh and Gin will you do me one little favor?"

"Yeah sure."

"Do you swear?"

"Yeah."

"Lets shake on it."

"Ok," Gin said as he shook Hitsugaya's hand.

"Great, know go downstairs and tell everyone exactly this, 'I'm a sick, perverted person who forced Captain Hitsugaya into saying the stuff about him being jealous of me,' you got it?"

"Ok."

"Good."

"But, you have to come with me."

"Fine."

With that they both headed downstairs.

-------(Downstairs)-------

They reached the bottom of the steps, and everyone looked at the. (including Hinamori who is no longer past out)

"Gin has something he would like to say everyone," Hitsugaya announced.

"Don't lie to them Hitsu-chan, we both know I don't want to say it," Gin said.

"Well you have to say it because it is about the truth, so say it," Hitsugaya a little annoyed.

"Fine, I'm a sick, perverted person who forced Hitsu-chan into saying the stuff about him being jealous of me, blah blah blah and all that other crap."

"Well were all glad you told the truth," Hinamori said.

"Yeah. Also nice boxers Gin, I really love the watermelons all over them," Matsumoto said as she pointed at them.

"These aren't my boxers, they're Hitsu-chan's boxers 'cause I couldn't find my own clothes," Gin corrected her.

"Shiro-chan you still have a weakness for water melons don't you," Hinamori giggled.

"Shut up Bed Wetter Momo," Hitsugaya said annoyed/playfully.

"Oh Captain I had a wonderful dream about you," Matsumoto began, "we were in a beautiful and sexual relationship…"

"I don't wont to here it," Hitsugaya said angrily.

"And one day you were so passionate and determined to get me in bed…" Matsumoto continued.

"Stop talking," Hitsugaya said more annoyed and angry.

"But here's the good part, you succeeded with getting me in bed and then…" Matsumoto said.

"Shut up. There are certain things you don't tell your Captain especially when it involves them and they tell you not to say it," Hitsugaya said and the whole room became serious and tense.

Then Gin pants Hitsugaya and everyone laughed and no one was tense or serious.

"Yay, now it isn't all gloomy," Gin said as he look at Hitsugaya and then realized that he pulled down his underwear too, "Ha I was right you were jealous. Oh wait my bad I was wrong."

Hitsugaya quickly pulled his pants back up and merely said, "I told you I wasn't jealous."

I hope you enjoyed this chapter **:P**

Obviously I don't know what their penis size is but I remember my friend said they learned in health that smaller people tend to have bigger penis, if you even care.

Anyway if you have some ideas for what the people should do please tell me. I need a lot more ideas badly. I would really appreciate it.

Well please review.


	6. But Then I Got High

AN: sorry I haven't written in a long while, but the reason why is because my key board broke and I was unable to get a new one until recently. So again sorry but I hope this chapter makes up for it. ^ω^

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's been seven weeks since they were put in this awful house that was once filled with raccoons, but now filled with very unhappy soul reapers. Well except for Gin of course. He was always happy or at least he appeared to be. But of course the craziness never ended for these unfortunate souls, which makes Yamamoto wonder whether or not he should just call the whole thing off. But for now they had to worry about how this day of terror was going to start, whether it is by their own stupidity or by Hinamori making brownies with a special ingredient, and if it would every end. (I guess we are about to find out. Not to mention you will find out about a little crush that someone in this house has.)

Matsumoto walked down stairs and was met by the delicious smell of, "Brownies?" she questioned as she walked to the kitchen to find out who was making them and why. As she entered the kitchen she saw Hinamori pulling hot, gooey brownies out of the (somehow working) oven, and put them on the dirt filled counter. "Um, Hinamori since when did you know how to cook good looking food?" Rangiku asked as she picked up a brownie and examined it.

"I always have, why do you ask?" Momo says as she snatches the treat out of Matsumotos hand.

"Because it usually looks like you just picked up some road kill, through it on a plate and call it dinner," Matsumoto says as she just grabs another brownie and looks at it untrustworthily.

"That's not nice to say about someone's cooking Rangiku," Hinamori says as she snatches away the other brownie in Matsumotos hand, "Now keep you paws off of my brownies, you Barbie. They are for someone special."

"Oh," Matsumoto says knowing who Momo means, "So these are for my Captain. You know he doesn't like fatty foods so he won't accept them. And do you mean Barbie as in me being fake or beautiful?"

"I mean fake, and how do you know that he won't take my brownies and enjoy them? Then he would fall in love with me and say I'm the best cook in the world, and that Matsumoto is just a stupid woman," Hinamori says as her cheeks turn reddish/pink and hope shines in her eyes.

"Honey I'm as real as they come, and if he turns down your brownies can I have them?" Matsumoto says she leaves the kitchen and goes over to the couch.

"Fine but he won't turn them down," Hinamori sounds determined as she heads up stairs.

"Shiro-Chan can I come up, or could you come down please?" Hinamori ask up to the attic.

"Yeah go ahead, but stop calling me that Bed Wetter Momo," Toshiro said as he open the floor door and made an ice ladder.

"Why not I think it's cute. At least it's not as bad as 'Bed Wetter'," Hinamori says as she climbs the ladder with a plate of brownies.

"Well I'm not cute," Toshiro says as he closes the floor door once Momo is settled.

"But of course you're cute. I have always thought you were cute and adorable," Hinamori says with a blush as she puts down the brownies.

"What do you mean by that?" Toshiro questions as he sits in front of Hinamori.

"Oh, a nothing just…um…," Hinamori starts as she fumbles with her words, "Here Toshiro I made you brownies."

----Momo's imagination----

_"Oh, Momo how did you know that I loved brownies," Hitsugaya asks as his eyes shine with glee._

_"Because I'm your best friend, and as your best friend I should know these things," Momo says with a slight blush._

_"Momo I…well I wish to…you see I have liked you for quite awhile, but I never knew how to tell you. But you probably don't feel the same so I'm sorry I told you. Will you forgive me?" Hitsugaya says as the deepest shade of red fills his cheeks._

_"Oh of course I will because I fell the same way as you," Momo says as a tear of joy runs down her face._

_"Momo," Hitsugaya says as he grabs her hand and pulls her into an embrace._

_"Shiro-Cha—,"She was cut off as Hitsugaya put his lips to hers, and took her breath away._

----Back to reality----

"Um that's very thoughtful Hinamori, but I don't like fatty food," Toshiro coldly says as he gets up, walks over to the mattress on the floor, and lies down. "Would you please leave? I want to be alone to think about how Matsumoto could be so stupid."

"Oh… ok well see you later then, Captain Hitsugaya," Hinamori says as she hangs her head to hide the tears running down her face. She picks up the brownies and leaves.

"So I get the brownies right?" Matsumoto asks from the couch.

"Brownies? I love brownies I want some. Can I have some Ran-Chan?" Gin says from the couch as well. He and Ichigo had joined her while Hinamori was getting her heart crushed.

"Yes you get them, but just give me a minute. Ok?" Hinamori says as she walks into the kitchen and pulls out a bag of powdery stuff. She takes the bag and pours the stuff onto brownies, and mixes it in. "Ok here you go Barbie," Hinamori says as she puts the drug filled brownies on the table. "I'm going to my room."

"Yay brownies!!!" both Matsumoto and Gin yell as the run over and stuff their faces with brownies.

"Omg they are so goooooooooood," Matsumoto says to Gin.

"Emhu," Gin says with a node of his head.

"Hey Ichigo come try them, they are SOOOOOOOO good," Matsumoto says as she throws one to Ichigo. As he took a bit his eyes shot open and he runs over.

"Omg they are good," Ichigo says as he wolfs down the rest of them (4 of them to be exact).

"I know and don't you feel this weird rush?" Matsumoto ask.

"Yeah now that you mention it I do," Gin agrees.

"That's because I put drugs in them you idiots," Hinamori calls from the stairs, then she darts away laughing.

"Shit!" Matsumoto and Ichigo yell.

"I like drugs, because drugs make you high and being high is fun," Gin says with his happy smile planted on his face.

----At the neighbors house----

"Yes, hello police? Yeah I would like to make a complaint about my neighbors. Yes for noise and because I believe they have a sex slave deal going on over there. Why do I think that? Well because they have been sitting out there for about five hours, petting a young boy and god knows what else they're doing to him. Ok, bye." The old lady finishes as she closes her cell phone. She had white hair back in a tight bun, and she wore big circle glasses, with a red outline, on her face. The old lady, known as Betty Williams, sat in a tree with binoculars to her eyes. Betty sat there, in the tree, spying on the shinigami (who if u don't remember r in gigias so that's y she can see them) next door. In the next couple of minutes the cops arrive, and Betty brings them next door.

----Back Home----

"Oh pretty pony your hair is so sooooooooooooft. How do u do it magic pony?" Matsumoto says as she pets Toshiro.

"Matsumoto get off of me! And guys get your act together because here comes a cop," Toshiro says as he points to the cop and Betty.

"OMG, a unicorn has come to grant use three wishes," Gin says as he stares in aw of what he thinks is a unicorn.

"YAY!" Ichigo and Matsumoto yell.

"Um, excuse me but are you the three that have been sexually harassing this young fellow here?" the cop ask as he points at Toshiro.

"Who are you calling a kid!?" Toshiro said angrily under his breath.

"Mister unicorn I'm in a fish bowl, and everyone around me are a fish," Ichigo says as he attaches himself to the police mans leg.

"Are you three high?" the cop asked pretty sure that they were, because the response he got was just stupid little giggles. "Alright you three line up here right now," the cop says as he points to right in front of him.

"Grr," Matsumoto says as she walks to the two other men before she lines up.

"Ok we need fake names. Shot gun Steve," Gin says as he walks into line.

"I'm a pumpkin," Matsumoto says as she gets into line as well.

"Bubble, bubble," Ichigo says as he sways into line.

"Ok so, how old are you?" the cop asks Ichigo.

"18," Ichigo replies seriously.

"How old are you?"

"It's rude to ask a woman her age," Matsumoto says as she folds her arms and glares.

"How old are you!" This time the cop says it more firmly.

"Again grr, and I'm 20," Matsumoto somewhat says seriously.

"Yeah 20 plus 300," Ichigo says with a sly grin on his face.

"Why you punk, if I wasn't a pumpkin right now I would kick you fishy butt!" Matsumoto yelled at Ichigo, who was a fish in her mind.

"How old are you?"

"Steve," Gin replied smoothly.

"Ok so you guys are 18, 2—," the cop pause realizing what Gin had said, "What how old are you?"

"5 in cat years divided by 3 in horse years times 2 in dog years," Gin says as he adds a confused face at the end of the sentence, "So lets gestimate (guess + estimate), 18ish."

"Ok, who is in charge around here?" the cop says as he scans the crowd of high people and a "kid".

"Captain is," Matsumoto says as she points at Hitsugaya very happily.

"That kid is in charge around here? How can he be, he looks to be only in Elementary School. He's too cute and innocent to be around such bad influences. Who are this kid's parents?" the cop asks as he scans the row of idiots. Then he points at Gin and says, "Are you his father?"

"I hope not, unless you know something I don't," Gin said shrugging his shoulders.

"Um ok, how about you are you his father?" the cop asks Ichigo.

"Shhh, I'm a cactus," Ichigo says as he sits there with one arm bent up n the other bent down.

"What?" the cop says confused.

"Omg we should get together and make babies," Matsumoto burst out as she jumps onto the cop and wraps her arms around his head.

"Omg no, he has to make my babies," Ichigo ran over and grabbed the cops arm.

"Mr. Officer just arrest them all. Throw handcuffs on them and take them away. I'm tired of having to live next to these morons," Betty says as she walks closer and points at the group.

"Um, excuse me Ms but I don't recall a house being next to ours or anywhere near us. Actually we don't even really live in a house it's more like a beat up shed with two floors and an attic. So where do you live exactly?" Toshiro ask Betty.

"I live with the squirrels, in the trees," Betty explains.

"So you spy on us?" Toshiro says as he gives her an unpleasant look.

"THE TREES!!!" Betty yelled as she sprinted into the trees and disappeared.

"Alright hands out, I'm going to cuff you guys," the cop says as he cuffs Ichigo first. Then he moved to put them on Gin next, skipping over Matsumoto. Finally he went to cuff Matsumoto, but she freaked out.

"I'm-a bight you," Matsumoto said as she bared her teeth.

"Just put them on you stupid pumpkin queen," the cop said as he forced on her cuffs.

"Hey guys I got a song I want to sing to you," Gin says as he begins to rock back and forth.

"Yay a song!" Matsumoto and Ichigo exclaimed happily.

"I was going to betray you all, but then I got high. I was going to stab you all in the back, but then I got high. But I'm still on your side and I know why. Because I got high, because I got high, because I got hi~gh." Gin sang as his grin grow wider.

----Inside the house----

"Ok Renji do you have your cop uniform on?" Rukia says as she looks out the window at the three high people and Toshiro.

"Yeah now give me the badge," Renji says as he walks over to her.

"Ok fine," Rukia says as she throws it at Renji.

"K lets go," Renji says as he begins to walk out the door.

"K."

----Back outside----

"Excuse me officer but might you explain to me why you are intruding on my investigation?" Renji ask as he walks up to the cop.

"What investigation?" the cop asks confused.

"Meow cakes, it's good for the fur," Matsumoto says as she naws on Gin's arm.

"Hey guys, the snozzberrys taste like snozzberrys," Ichigo says as he sways his head back and forth.

"What the fuck is a Snozzberry?" Toshiro asked really annoyed and confused.

"That is quite a bad mouth for a little kid," the cop says as he looks at Toshiro.

"I'm not a kid!" Toshiro yelled at the cop.

"Anyway what investigation?" the cop ask Renji again.

"I have been studying these guys for awhile and if you don't leave then you're going to blow my cover. And then I will never get to get enough information on these guys, and I won't be able to lock them away for good." Renji explains in the cop's ear as if to not let the others hear his plan.

"Show me your badge then," the cop orders.

"Fine here," Renji says shoving it into the cops face.

"That's chocolate covered in foil," the cop says as he stares at Renji.

"Well they aren't supposed to know I'm an undercover cop, so of course the badge is fake you idiot," Renji says as he gives the cop a look that says duh.

"Ok, well who is in charge around here?" the cop asks, while he is thinking that maybe he should have just called in sick today. Just then Kenpachi walked out of the house to see what all the noise was about. "Ah, you must be in charge around here or at least that little kid's parent," the cop says relived a little.

"Parents are for tools, real men are spawn," Ichigo chimes in.

"That is one thing I can agree on with you, Ichigo," Kenpachi says as he gets really close to the cop and pushes Renji out of the way. "Are you threatening this household?"

"What are you challenging me?" the cop says getting into a firm stance.

"If it's a challenge you want, THEN COME ON AND FIGHT ME!" Kenpachi yelled the last part as he spread his arms wide and shouted to the sky.

"Fine," the cop says as he pulls out his taser. He jabs Kenpachi with the taser many time sending out shocks, but Kenpachi didn't flinch once. Then the cop took the taser and tased Kenpachi's head. All that Kenpachi's response was his eye twitched.

"Is that all you g—," before Kenpachi could finish he fell to the side from the brain damage the taser just gave him.

"You idiot that was my partner that you just tased! Leave this instant before I report you," Renji exclaimed as he pointed his finger in the cops face.

"Go ahead because I don't believe that you're an undercover cop," the cop dared Renji.

"That's it, I have had it! You need to leave now before I kick your little princess ass," Rukia warned as she came from the house and got in the cops face.

"Little girly I don't think you have the power to be making such big thre—," before the cop could finish he got a heel to the side of his face from Rukia. "You little bit—," he was cut off by another blow to the face from Rukia's fist this time.

Without hesitating he grabbed his taser and went to use it, but before he could Rukia smacked it out of his hand. The she grabbed the cop's face and smacked his head onto the ground. Then she straddled him, held his neck in her hands and said, "Now ether you leave now and forget everything you saw here and never come back, I will let you live. But if not then you will be killed." Rukia finish with a deadly glare.

"O…ok I will leave, just don't hurt me," the cop cried as he struggled under Rukia.

"Good," Rukia says as she glares at him and slowly releases him.

The cop gets up to his feet and sprints away like his life depended on it. (Which it did)

"Hey Rukia can you straddle me next," Renji says with a stupid grin, and a bloody nose from a nose bleed. (Because we all know what he was thinking. XD)

"Screw you Monkey Face," Rukia says as she walks up next to him.

"I would be glad to screw you," Renji said like an idiot.

"Perv," Rukia says as she punches Renji in the face and walks into the house.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aw the chapter is over. XP oh well you will just have to wait until next time. Which I promise won't take forever again.^^ But if you want me to write faster you need to give me some good, and random, ideas. Well review and I hope you enjoyed it! =D


	7. Survivor

Yeah I know you guys probably hate me cuz I take forever to upload.

But if you read my comment at the end there is a benefit to me being slow to upload =)

Oh and sorry it's so short the next one wont be I promise!

* * *

Everyone sat inside, trying to figure out what just happened outside. (Ichigo, Matsumoto, and Gin no longer high)

While everyone sat in the living room, the T.V began to come down from the ceiling again and Yamamoto's face appears on the screen.

"Everyone I have an announcement to make but first, lieutenant Hinamori step fourth," boomed Yamamoto's voice, surprising everyone.

"Ye-yes sir?" Hinamori questions as she stands in front of the large screen.

"I saw what you did and it was unacceptable, there for when you return home you will be punished," Yamamoto boomed at her.

"I'm sorry sir, but may I ask what exactly is it that I did?" Hinamori asked in a quiet voice.

"The action you did to the brownies that you gave your fellow comrades, which caused them to make a scene in public," Yamamoto says as he looks at the three that had gotten high.

"Oh, I'm very sorry sir for causing that," Hinamori began as she bowed in apology and then continued, "Please forgive me."

"Yes well, now the other thing I have to tell you. Since it doesn't seem like you guys are getting along any better, I am changing this house hold into a game show," Yamamoto states as everyone becomes confused.

"A what?" Ichigo questions.

"I said a game show, what are you hard at hearing?" Yamamoto repeats.

"I hear just fine thank you, and I mean like what game thinger and what are the rules," Ichigo says annoyed at Yamamoto basically calling him stupid.

"Oh like the show survivor or whatever it's call. Each week will be a new challenge, one team will win, and the other sends a teammate home. And the final winner will get a prize," Yamamoto replies.

"What's the prize," Kenpachi asked.

"You will find out when the final person gets it," Yamamoto replies.

"Oh a secret, I like secrets. They're fun and I'm **really** good at keeping them. This is going to be fun," Gin said all hyper and happy.

"Yeah sure Gin, just calm down," Matsumoto began as she watched the energetic Captain and then she turned her attention to Yamamoto, "So what are the teams?"

"Guys against Girls," Yamamoto replied.

"What but that's not fair, there are more guys then girls," complained Matsumoto.

"It's only by one and if they lose the first challenge one of them has to go home so it would be even," Yamamoto explained.

"Yeah and plus Rengiku, they have Captain Ichimaru on their team so I think we're okay," Hinamori said as she pointed to Gin who shoved his foot in Hitsugaya's face asking if it looked infected.

"Hey what's that supposed to mean?" Gin said turning his attention to Matsumoto and Hinamori.

"Get your damn, nasty ass foot out of my face you freak!" Hitsugaya yelled as he shoved Gin's foot away.

"I just wanted to know if it looked infected," Gin said turning back to Hitsugaya.

"No it doesn't! It just looks like a normal, creepy ass, albino foot!" Hitsugaya said angrily.

"Calm down little Captain, it was just a question," Gin said with his usual grin.

"**Don't call me little," **Hitsugaya retorted through gridded teeth.

Before Gin could reply Yamamoto spoke, "Enough you two, I am tired of you two arguing all the time. So does anyone else have questions about the game/show?"

"Yeah, so with the whole voting off thing; can the winning team choose who leaves or does the losing team choose their own teammate?" Rukia asked.

"What are you stupid? He already told us that the team who lost the challenge sends one of their own men home," Ichigo replied to Rukia's question.

"No I'm not stupid I just didn't understand the rules, asshole," Rukia says as she crosses her arms in anger.

"Alright so let the games begin," Yamamoto booms.

'_Why does he always insist on yelling?' _Ichigo thought to himself.

* * *

Sorry this is so short and took forever to be put up but I had massive writers block and stuff ^_^'

But to make up for it, I will offer you something.

You can decide…so I was thinking I could draw this fanfic to make up for me being really slow to upload. What do you think? It's up to you so let me know in reviews. Think of it as a sorry I'm bad at uploading new chapters gifts. SO MAKE SURE YOU LET ME KNOW!


	8. Sorry

**I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry I haven't updated for a while but I'm all busy with stupid school and all. So I'm going to put this story on hold for now (probably until I'm done my other fic. Wanna bet) until further notice because I have lots to do and all. **

**Again I'm really sorry! Please don't hate me! But I understand if you do… :(**

**I'm going to try to get back to this fic fast but until then sorry, but at least I told you so you know not to expect anything for a little bit.**

**So bye for now! Unless you read Wanna Bet as well, then I'll see you there!**


End file.
